SH: Mental health has become quite a buzzword, but what does it actually entail?
KW: I think mental health is just a term that's been coined to represent feeling good within yourself, feeling in tune with life. So when you feel out of alignment with yourself, then maybe your mental health is needing a bit of tuning.
SH: How can you feel in tune with yourself when you have a bunch of obstacles and you feel like you cannot control what's happening around you?
You can develop coping skills. If your coping skills aren't sufficient that's maybe when you feel out of alignment with yourself. So I would say that's probably a good skill to have: to know how to manage things and cope, because life is never predictable and there are always stresses. So mental health represents how you manage and cope with them.
I think a lot of it is about your outlook on life and how you approach things. Many people take things personally and then they get affected and feel upset about it. But you can just see it from the perspective of "that's just the way it is" and think of the best way to cope with it and deal with it - and approach it from a sort of pragmatic point of view. I think that gives a more stable emotional space. Emotional health is an aspect of who you are as a person, and it's how you approach things and how you cope with things in life.
SH: Would you say that the idea of an age crisis is just a stereotype or do you think it's an inevitable experience ?
KW: Life is a process. And, as you age, things change. And you go through physical symptoms of getting older and you also get social situations - so there's all sorts of different factors.
There is a lot of uncertainty in this quarter life phase, and that's what causes the 'crisis'. Maybe because people at this age don't quite know where they're going to go and where the process is going to take them. So yes, maybe looking at it from that perspective, I can see why there can be a quarter life crisis.
It's interesting that now people are recognizing there's a transition phase. In my generation I feel like we just went through it and didn't give it a name.
The structure of society has also changed. It's not like everybody finishes school and goes and gets a job and works for the rest of their life in the same position. There's a lot more options available to everyone. So it just gives people a lot more opportunity, more chances to do things, so the structure may have become more fluid than it was back in the day. People didn't have to think too much about it.
The world has also gotten so much smaller because of the Internet and travel opportunities. So, you know, back in the day, I think people were more limited to just what was around them. While now, you have the whole planet to consider. That implies that there are more decisions to take. But I think that's a good thing.
SH: We have more choices than the generation before, which is a good thing. But at the same time, there is more uncertainty because there's no right or wrong path.
How can we see this freedom as beneficial?
KW: From my perspective, I think it's great, but I think there are a lot of people that might find having too many choices quite stressful. Where do you go? Where do you start? How do you decide?
But each individual doesn't have to consider every single option. If you know yourself and you understand yourself well enough, you'll know how to narrow down your options so you don't have to get overwhelmed with everything that's out there.
For example, choosing a career path and finding the right career path for you so that you actually feel satisfied and happy. And what you're doing will help stabilize and give you a focus and give you something to work towards. And then you don't have to be overwhelmed by all the different options. But just the fact that there are so many options out there does give you more opportunity than other people had in past generations.
I think that a lot of it boils down to each individual personality. You can get overwhelmed and you can just think 'Oh, there's so many things out there, how am I going to cope and decide?'. But I think it should be considered on an individual basis, taking into account personal qualities and values.
In career counseling, psychologists are always looking at the personal strengths and abilities, goals and aspirations, capabilities. And then from that we can deduce what would be a good direction for them to go in. And once they've determined a path they want to follow, we look at where they can do it and how. Should I go to university? Should I just go out and work? What kind of companies can I work in? Do I want to work for myself? So it's a series of steps that you follow to get to the right decision for yourself.
And you can either have a projected path like a ten year plan, or you can just sort of start from step one and see where that takes you and see what opportunities arise from that. So, I would say it's a good thing that people nowadays can be thinking about their careers like that. Nowadays there are so many more interesting choices that we can make. It may add to the dilemma, but at the same time life can be more interesting.
If you don't want to have lots of choices, you can choose something and you can stick with that your whole life and maybe that's your personality type - you're very centered and you know exactly what you want to do and you just go ahead and you do it.
But I would suggest thinking of all your good qualities and what they indicate. Put together as many of your qualities together and see what fits. Then you'll find your path and it will just develop from there.
________________________________________________________________________
Kim Welch is a councilor based in the United Kingdom, with extensive experience as a career advisor. For her, understanding our personal qualities and values is key to a good mental health and can help young adults manage the many choices and decisions they face.
Comments