©Claudiu Popescu
SH: How important is the feeling of belonging from a psychological point of view?
SG: If we are thinking of the way belonging was theorized, one of the most known theories is Masslow's. In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, belonging is placed somewhere in the middle. The needs at the base rather sustain the physiological functioning. Then there are the security needs, which include the first level of needs which are rather affective, but which are strongly connected to physicality.
Then, there are these social needs of belonging.
Above them, there are only the needs that relate to social status, appreciation, ego. And at the top, there are the needs that relate to overcoming oneself, to auto-actualisation, to becoming the best version of oneself.
My answer is in line with this structure. I think that belonging is absolutely necessary for a balanced functioning.
SH: Do you think teenagers and young adults are more affected by this need to belong than other age categories?
SG: I think young people are more vulnerable and more emotionally invested in problems of belonging, because during teenage years, up to around 25 - when the full evolution of the prefrontal cortex is considered to be achieved so the maturity of the individual from a cerebral point of view - teenagers go through migrations, from certain relationships of belonging that define their identity, their role in the social group and, in certain ways, that prescribe their future - their ideals, their values - towards other structures of belonging, which they become more aware of, which they consider desirable, based on social models, on proximity… even based on disinformation.
I was just reading an article about Andrew Tate where experts gave recommendations to teachers and parents on how to help teenagers avoid such a negative influence. And the message was very clear: censorship is not a valid option. Because this kind of disinformation messages are based on pieces of truth which validate the feeling of belonging where the need to belong is very frustrated.
SH: So what would be the solution for protecting young people from negative influence?
SG: I would say that the need to belong, and the migration from some groups to others, chosen more consciously, is natural as we grow up. But the migration might never end.
Many times, depressive disorders and anxiety problems are connected to an insufficient or contradictory conceptualization of structures of belonging. And we can have depressive states at any age.
SH: Would you say that social media makes young people more confused about the community they belong to?
SG: It helped, but it also made the situation worse in certain ways. I'd say it helped because social media created the possibility to find and identify yourself with communities where you can feel 'at home' psychologically speaking, in a way that was impossible before. These platforms limit the factor of physical proximity.
But, at the same time, social media exposes all of us, no matter the age - I want that to be very clear! - to a certain type of information which builds extremely contradictory representations to our reality. So our belonging systems are always under siege. Because the need to belong exists constantly - it can be more satisfied or frustrated in certain moments of our lives - and edited, idealized images, normalized through these platforms, create an illusion of what our lives should be.
It facilitates the type of situations where you consider yourself disadvantaged in relation to the rest of the world. You start caring about how others live, how they are, what they have, what they do.
I think this is one of the biggest problems of our society today: the fact that we live in this illusion facilitated by the means we use for relaxation. Some say that scrolling is relaxing, but actually your attention is hijacked by a lot of influencing systems which capitalize that time you spend apparently 'relaxing' because they induce certain beliefs, certain images, that may or may not be realistic.
SH: About Ideo Ideis [the theater festival for teenagers organized by Silvia], what is the psychological backing of this event and what kind of reactions did you receive from the teenagers that participated?
SG: The story of Ideo Ideis started from the need to belong of some teenagers who were in high school, in a little city from Romania, where not many things were happening. They were living in a community with too small of a space for expression, creation and self-development for teenagers.
Because of their needs to explore and to belong to something they wanted to identify themselves with, these teenagers created the highschool's theater group. Starting from there, where each of us found a sense of belonging, which fed our creativity and curiosity and offered us opportunities to leave the city for theater festivals where we met other people and saw other places, the initial group formed which created an association and tried, and succeeded, to create their own theater festival in that little town where nothing was happening.
This year it will be 18 years since we started this project.
What people find here, and the reason why we still believe in continuing this story, it's a kind of belonging that is less formally regulated, less oppressive, less censored, where the spirit of exploration, learning from others, tolerance towards diversity and self-expression are valued.
An important decision that we took was to give up the competitive character of the theater festival. After the 7th edition we gave up on rewards for the best actor, best actress and so on.
Of course, they will have a certain perception of competition and hierarchy. But getting rid of a competition validated by the organizers was one of the keys to this very desirable image for teenagers represented by the Ideo Ideis experience.
SH: You said that Ideo Ideis encourages the spirit of exploration, tolerance and diversity. Are these the characteristics of a healthy community?
SG: I personally think yes. But, at the same time, we have to admit that this is a change of status quo and tradition, which builds an opposing position towards the old ways of authority and social organization.
However it's not declared as such, it's not an assumed position of the organization. What we believe in and what we fight for are self-development, self-expression, self-knowledge through the interaction with art and culture.
SH: What can you do when you feel like you don't belong to a community? What are the steps you should take to fulfill your need to belong?
You should keep on looking. Don't give up! You are already part of certain communities, maybe without realizing and sometimes even devaluating that belonging for the simple fact that you don't give it enough attention or because your need to belong is not satisfied enough.
Besides our need to belong, in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, theoretically, the need of security is more important. So we have to be aware that what we are actually looking for in our systems of belonging is that comfort, that personal security, the sensation that you are protected from forces that are bigger than yourself.
This is what belonging does to us - it creates this mental representation of security, without which we cannot evolve. Without feeling safe, our chances to evolve are reduced. Therefore, the possibility to enjoy and take advantage of opportunities is also reduced.
Silvia Guță is a therapist from Romania who is one of the founders of Ideo Ideis, a non-conformist theater festival that started in the small city of Alexandria and expanded into other creative experiences for teenagers from small communities.
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